Ah Pregnancy.
I have learned that no one tells you anything about it. The movies lie. All the women who have gone through it have forcibly removed certain memories of it and the rest won't tell you all the stuff that happens to your body because if they did, no one would ever get pregnant. I have gotten so many, "Oh yeah- I forgot about that part" and "Don't worry- that symptom you have that we would normally run lots of tests for is now considered normal". It is a pretty amazing experience, but it is not really comfortable all the time.
First of all, the first trimester is rough. I was very lucky and never got the morning sickness part- I just lost my appetite completely. I remember walking into a bakery and looking at a table full of amazing food, and thinking, "None of that looks appetizing. It should look good, but I really don't want to eat any of it". It was a very strange feeling not to want to eat anything. Hubby literally had to tell me to eat and then make sure I actually did it because I would eat half my sandwich and get bored and stop. I had really low blood pressure (90/54 sitting down after 30 mins of sitting quietly) which is normal apparently. I slept 14 hours a day (also normal). I was so glad not to be in school because I never would have made it to class- I would sleep 10 hours, get up and go to the couch to sleep/doze for another 4, get up and go back to bed. I lost 5 pounds (which is normal) and I just remember being really dizzy and tired all the time. The rest is a blur (probably from being dizzy and tired all the time- also normal).
Second trimester is way more fun. I hit 13 weeks and it was like someone remembered to turn on my body. I suddenly only was sleeping 10 hours and didn't want to sit on the couch anymore. Food was yummy again(especially salty stuff). I got a job because I didn't want to sit still anymore. I felt like I had gotten over a really bad flu and was finally feeling better. The part they don't tell you about here is what your body is doing in response to the fact that something very delicate is growing in you. All your bodily secretions increase. ALL of them. Things that are now considered normal are: bloody noses, increased salivation, increased eye gunk, increased other orifice gunk (yes all orifices), increased acne, increased hair growth (legs, arms, eyebrows, upper-lip, stomach, feet, head- you name it, it gets darker/increased hair growth), increased nail growth, hormone surges (yup- random crying does occur), heartburn, leg cramps, skin irritation, constipation, tighter shoes, sore boobs, weird skin spots, and random cramps and pains. I only complain because something happens and I think to myself, "huh, I've never had that happen before" only to find out that this weird thing is considered normal and will just continue to increase as the baby grows. Most of them are either protective for the baby (all the increased gunk helps keep bacteria out) or the result of hormones (why my skin looks like I am 15 again). It is fascinating to find out what changes my body is doing to accommodate and protect the little guy- and how much weird stuff can be considered normal!
One thing that is very strange is how much the baby moves. It is a strange sensation to begin with- it feels like your intestines shift, or a bubble popped inside of your lower stomach. As it keeps increasing in intensity and frequency, I am constantly surprised at how much he moves! It catches me off guard right now, but soon I know I will feel it all the time. I have even started incorporating it into my dreams (I was a spy who was suddenly pregnant- luckily that didn't interfere with my spy plans). I am so excited for him to get a little stronger so that other people can feel him move.
Overall, I understand why people don't remember this weird uncomfortable stuff. The fact that there is a little person growing inside of you, that you love them so much just for being alive, that you are growing something with so much potential, that it is worth it. The strange uncomfortableness is worth it. I am sure that I will find more things that I am not too fond of (like the heartburn kicking in right now and my organs being used as punching bags) but Tater is worth it. I would go through a lot more uncomfortableness for this little guy and I haven't even met him yet. The awesomeness of the child overshadows the little discomforts. I am only half way through the process, but I wouldn't want to stop now- things are just going to get better (and more weird).
I love my baby.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Holiday Card
'Tis the season for holiday cards- but since I am not writing one this year, I figured I should at least put this year down in writing somewhere.
2011 started out like most years- Some friends (and their significant others) took me out for New Years Eve fun. I got kissed on the cheek by both significant others since mine was still overseas, I broke a kitchen lamp with a champagne cork, and we had a wonderful time. I am hoping for as much fun this year- though it will be with less alcohol.
My Hubby came home in time for Medical School "Prom" which made me incredibly happy. He settled into Iowa life fairly quickly and school progressed as planned. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having him home. It is the best thing in the world to wake up and find him there and not have a time delay when talking to him. I will trade my "clean" house for his boy cooties any day of the week and be getting the better end of the bargain. I will spare you all the lovey-dovey-ness, but I love that man more everyday and I am SOOOO glad to have him home.
All was going as planned and then I failed Neuro. That was pretty much the big game changer for the year- it disrupted all our plans for a while, but I am hoping that it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Insert cliche about a silver lining, sunny side of street, etc here. It has provided some interesting opportunities though.
During the summer I did some traveling. I went with 3 amazing medical school friends to Florida and we hung out on the #1 beach in the world for 2011 for a weekend. It was a amazing- we spent all day in the water hunting for sand dollars and then screamed like tweens at a boy band concert when we saw wild dolphins. We ate well, drank well, burned into well done, and even had a hospital visit (turned out fine).
Hubby and I then went to the Dominican Republic for 10 days with a friend from Canada. It was an all-inclusive place, with a swim up bar, and fantastic weather. We did a dune-buggy outing into the jungle- complete with cock fight, school visit, horseback riding, and homemade DR lunch- as well as a really fun Booze-cruise tour. The booze cruise started with some animal interactions at the marine park (a fur seal, stingrays and nurse sharks- we unfortunately couldn't touch the nurse sharks since it was mating season, but just swimming above them was pretty cool) and then snorkeling (with blue fish!) and then lots of rum in a quiet bay. It was so much fun to drink anything, eat everything, and dance all the time. I highly recommend the DR for a good time.
When we returned stateside, we went home to Colorado for the 4th and saw family, friends, and all Hubby's military buddies. Those guys crack me up to no end. I shot a 50 caliber hand-cannon (and hit the target dead on), went bar-hopping with all the guys, hung out with family and friends, and ate Big City Burrito. It was nice to go home and see everyone.
Since I didn't go back to school in the fall, we started a "boot-camp" workout class. Four times a week with high intensity drills and weights was kicking my butt into shape, until the last week when I started getting really really dizzy anytime my heart rate went up. I was a little concerned since I was trying to join the Military reserves, so we did some tests and it turns out I was pregnant! (Needless to say, the military idea was out.)
Pregnancy has been fun so far- growing a life takes a surprising amount of energy! I am still amazed at how much energy a 3oz life-form needs. We are so incredibly excited for Tater-Tot to arrive at the end of April. He is doing well so far (yes a HE) and the doctors say he is growing nicely and all the tests come back normal :) (Probably the only time this kid will ever be "normal"!) Hubby talks to "Tater" every day and he got to feel him kick:) It is a very strange sensation to have your insides moving around- I can't wait to have this little guy to cuddle with!
I started working at the Starbucks at Target for a seasonal position. I finally hit the second trimester and no longer wanted to sit around the house (there is only so much Netflix a person can handle). It has been a good experience. I made some cash, made some friends, and have had my need to finish school firmly implanted once again. I finish up next week and I am excited to start studying again.
That pretty much wraps up this year. Next year is looking pretty bright- there is an open seat in the class of 2015 (I just need a >80% for neuro and I am in), Tater will be joining the world, Hubby has some good job prospects in the works, my sister may come out to live in Iowa land (keep your fingers crossed! I want a free baby-sitter!), and life is looking good.
I wish you all a wonderful New Year and I pray and hope that your lives are blessed with happiness and opportunities (the obviously good kind- not the silver lining kind). Happy Holidays!
2011 started out like most years- Some friends (and their significant others) took me out for New Years Eve fun. I got kissed on the cheek by both significant others since mine was still overseas, I broke a kitchen lamp with a champagne cork, and we had a wonderful time. I am hoping for as much fun this year- though it will be with less alcohol.
My Hubby came home in time for Medical School "Prom" which made me incredibly happy. He settled into Iowa life fairly quickly and school progressed as planned. I LOVE LOVE LOVE having him home. It is the best thing in the world to wake up and find him there and not have a time delay when talking to him. I will trade my "clean" house for his boy cooties any day of the week and be getting the better end of the bargain. I will spare you all the lovey-dovey-ness, but I love that man more everyday and I am SOOOO glad to have him home.
All was going as planned and then I failed Neuro. That was pretty much the big game changer for the year- it disrupted all our plans for a while, but I am hoping that it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. Insert cliche about a silver lining, sunny side of street, etc here. It has provided some interesting opportunities though.
During the summer I did some traveling. I went with 3 amazing medical school friends to Florida and we hung out on the #1 beach in the world for 2011 for a weekend. It was a amazing- we spent all day in the water hunting for sand dollars and then screamed like tweens at a boy band concert when we saw wild dolphins. We ate well, drank well, burned into well done, and even had a hospital visit (turned out fine).
Hubby and I then went to the Dominican Republic for 10 days with a friend from Canada. It was an all-inclusive place, with a swim up bar, and fantastic weather. We did a dune-buggy outing into the jungle- complete with cock fight, school visit, horseback riding, and homemade DR lunch- as well as a really fun Booze-cruise tour. The booze cruise started with some animal interactions at the marine park (a fur seal, stingrays and nurse sharks- we unfortunately couldn't touch the nurse sharks since it was mating season, but just swimming above them was pretty cool) and then snorkeling (with blue fish!) and then lots of rum in a quiet bay. It was so much fun to drink anything, eat everything, and dance all the time. I highly recommend the DR for a good time.
When we returned stateside, we went home to Colorado for the 4th and saw family, friends, and all Hubby's military buddies. Those guys crack me up to no end. I shot a 50 caliber hand-cannon (and hit the target dead on), went bar-hopping with all the guys, hung out with family and friends, and ate Big City Burrito. It was nice to go home and see everyone.
Since I didn't go back to school in the fall, we started a "boot-camp" workout class. Four times a week with high intensity drills and weights was kicking my butt into shape, until the last week when I started getting really really dizzy anytime my heart rate went up. I was a little concerned since I was trying to join the Military reserves, so we did some tests and it turns out I was pregnant! (Needless to say, the military idea was out.)
Pregnancy has been fun so far- growing a life takes a surprising amount of energy! I am still amazed at how much energy a 3oz life-form needs. We are so incredibly excited for Tater-Tot to arrive at the end of April. He is doing well so far (yes a HE) and the doctors say he is growing nicely and all the tests come back normal :) (Probably the only time this kid will ever be "normal"!) Hubby talks to "Tater" every day and he got to feel him kick:) It is a very strange sensation to have your insides moving around- I can't wait to have this little guy to cuddle with!
I started working at the Starbucks at Target for a seasonal position. I finally hit the second trimester and no longer wanted to sit around the house (there is only so much Netflix a person can handle). It has been a good experience. I made some cash, made some friends, and have had my need to finish school firmly implanted once again. I finish up next week and I am excited to start studying again.
That pretty much wraps up this year. Next year is looking pretty bright- there is an open seat in the class of 2015 (I just need a >80% for neuro and I am in), Tater will be joining the world, Hubby has some good job prospects in the works, my sister may come out to live in Iowa land (keep your fingers crossed! I want a free baby-sitter!), and life is looking good.
I wish you all a wonderful New Year and I pray and hope that your lives are blessed with happiness and opportunities (the obviously good kind- not the silver lining kind). Happy Holidays!
Monday, September 5, 2011
Fall
I love the Fall.
Fall makes me feel hopeful and full of life. Something about the way fall smells, the way the light comes in, the activity, makes me feel alive and wonderful. I love the crisp smell of cooler temps and changing plants, and the way the sun slants in more orange and yellow during the afternoon. I love the cool breezes and the sounds the trees make as they prepare to sleep. I love the buzz of activity around fall- the football, the schools starting, hearing the band, the apples and pumpkins in a frenzied growth. I love the food and the celebrations. I love getting to wear jeans and sweatshirts and sleeping under covers, but it still being warm enough to play outside. I love the spurts of warm days, summer trying to get out all its sun before going to rest, and the days where it is cold and rainy- winter practicing before the frost comes.
I am also ready to be back in school. The break was nice- sleeping and low stress was nice, but now I am ready to be active again, to do things again. Unfortunately, I have another 6 months before I get to try again. I thought about taking classes at the local community college this fall, but my heart just wasn't in it. I didn't want to take Finance 101 just because I need something to do. I wish I could just fast forward to May and see what the future has in store. I have a lingering fear that I will fail again (though that would take some trying on my part), but I still want things to be settled.
I know I have some life changes coming up, I wish I felt more prepared for most of them. My 25th year of life is a year of waiting for the changes to take place. A year of being a chrysalis. Being a chrysalis takes a surprising amount of stamina and optimism- waiting out the changes and being hopeful that you made the right decisions- knowing that you have to live with them regardless- but still being excited.
Fall always reminds me of band. I have so many wonderful memories of after school practice in the fall- the sun slipping behind the mountains as we practiced on the parking lot- music, laughter, weird concoctions of Gatorade, sunglasses, movement. I remember football games with hotdogs and chips, being either too hot or too cold, but cheering like we cared. I remember riding home on the bus with Queen playing on the speakers, the pleather seats sticky in the afternoon heat and slippery with the evening cold. I remember tucking our plumes up our sleeves and watching the freshmen try to figure out how their "plumes were untied". I remember Dinkles shoes and lounging in the band hallway in the afternoon sun. I remember mornings in the gray sun in that hallway, and the smell of paper and books. I remember hating some days, but knowing that I would always come back. I only really remember the good things now- even the bad things are remembered as a growth. There are still things that make me angry, sad, and uncomfortable, but even those provided a growing experience. I remember feeling that I could accomplish anything and that things were easy. Fall always makes me feel that way again.
Fall makes me feel hopeful and full of life. Something about the way fall smells, the way the light comes in, the activity, makes me feel alive and wonderful. I love the crisp smell of cooler temps and changing plants, and the way the sun slants in more orange and yellow during the afternoon. I love the cool breezes and the sounds the trees make as they prepare to sleep. I love the buzz of activity around fall- the football, the schools starting, hearing the band, the apples and pumpkins in a frenzied growth. I love the food and the celebrations. I love getting to wear jeans and sweatshirts and sleeping under covers, but it still being warm enough to play outside. I love the spurts of warm days, summer trying to get out all its sun before going to rest, and the days where it is cold and rainy- winter practicing before the frost comes.
I am also ready to be back in school. The break was nice- sleeping and low stress was nice, but now I am ready to be active again, to do things again. Unfortunately, I have another 6 months before I get to try again. I thought about taking classes at the local community college this fall, but my heart just wasn't in it. I didn't want to take Finance 101 just because I need something to do. I wish I could just fast forward to May and see what the future has in store. I have a lingering fear that I will fail again (though that would take some trying on my part), but I still want things to be settled.
I know I have some life changes coming up, I wish I felt more prepared for most of them. My 25th year of life is a year of waiting for the changes to take place. A year of being a chrysalis. Being a chrysalis takes a surprising amount of stamina and optimism- waiting out the changes and being hopeful that you made the right decisions- knowing that you have to live with them regardless- but still being excited.
Fall always reminds me of band. I have so many wonderful memories of after school practice in the fall- the sun slipping behind the mountains as we practiced on the parking lot- music, laughter, weird concoctions of Gatorade, sunglasses, movement. I remember football games with hotdogs and chips, being either too hot or too cold, but cheering like we cared. I remember riding home on the bus with Queen playing on the speakers, the pleather seats sticky in the afternoon heat and slippery with the evening cold. I remember tucking our plumes up our sleeves and watching the freshmen try to figure out how their "plumes were untied". I remember Dinkles shoes and lounging in the band hallway in the afternoon sun. I remember mornings in the gray sun in that hallway, and the smell of paper and books. I remember hating some days, but knowing that I would always come back. I only really remember the good things now- even the bad things are remembered as a growth. There are still things that make me angry, sad, and uncomfortable, but even those provided a growing experience. I remember feeling that I could accomplish anything and that things were easy. Fall always makes me feel that way again.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Too Damn Hot
Last night at midnight the heat index was almost 100 degrees. Right now, it is indexed at 117 (97 with 54% humidity). I woke up at 6 am this morning, thinking maybe it would be more comfortable, but it was still a heat index of over 90 (82 degrees and 82%).
I have wanted to go running for the past week, but it is so hot outside that just looking outside makes me get uncomfortable. I know that there are still people who are out running in that, but I feel so miserable being that hot that it stops being fun, and the whole point of running for me is stress relief. (Getting in shape is just an awesome benefit.) I want to get in shape- but since I haven't run since I went on vacation, I am out of shape again, and the heat just makes it worse. I miss Colorado summer- the dry heat that disappears as soon as the sun sets. It stays hot all night long- it doesn't drop below 80 most nights. I wish there was a local lap pool to go swim at, but the closest is the Y and that is not walking distance. I don't really understand why Des Moines doesn't have any pools considering how hot it is here...
I can't wait for the cooler days to start, I miss being in school to have something to do, and I don't know what to do with myself most days. I spend a lot of time reading, and I have started drawing again. I have some ideas for some classes this fall at the local community college, but it is hard getting excited for something that really doesn't seem like it will make a difference. I am just treading water until I can get started again. I hate that.
I swear I didn't pray for patience...
I have wanted to go running for the past week, but it is so hot outside that just looking outside makes me get uncomfortable. I know that there are still people who are out running in that, but I feel so miserable being that hot that it stops being fun, and the whole point of running for me is stress relief. (Getting in shape is just an awesome benefit.) I want to get in shape- but since I haven't run since I went on vacation, I am out of shape again, and the heat just makes it worse. I miss Colorado summer- the dry heat that disappears as soon as the sun sets. It stays hot all night long- it doesn't drop below 80 most nights. I wish there was a local lap pool to go swim at, but the closest is the Y and that is not walking distance. I don't really understand why Des Moines doesn't have any pools considering how hot it is here...
I can't wait for the cooler days to start, I miss being in school to have something to do, and I don't know what to do with myself most days. I spend a lot of time reading, and I have started drawing again. I have some ideas for some classes this fall at the local community college, but it is hard getting excited for something that really doesn't seem like it will make a difference. I am just treading water until I can get started again. I hate that.
I swear I didn't pray for patience...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Life Lessons Suck
Sometimes you have to touch the stove to know that it is hot and will burn you.
I failed Neuroanatomy and as a result was academically dismissed- and cannot rejoin the class of 2014. It is a two credit course (of course the shortest one of the year) I am not entirely sure how or why I failed it. I have enough excuses- Sean being home, a different kind of studying, weather, medications, death of my dog, traveling, and other random excuses- but the fact is that I failed. I didn't do what was necessary and I slacked off and didn't take it seriously.
So, what does this mean?
I appealed the decision, and as a result I have to retake the class in the spring, pass with >80%, and then I can rejoin the class of 2015 (as long as space is available). This means I have a year off of school, my loans come due, and I have to find something to do until next year. I know that I can do this. I can pass this class, or I literally will die trying, and there is always someone who decides not to continue so I will have a spot. The hard part for me is going to be the finding something that will keep my brain in school mode, somehow pay or delay the loans, and keep myself busy.
I hate failing. It is one of my fears in life- that I will fail. I hate the shame that comes along with it- having to tell my friends and family that I failed, that I am not as smart as I seem, that I didn't live up to my potential kills me on the inside. I think I hate the shame and embarrassment of failing more than the actual failing.
I am mad at myself for allowing this to happen. I am putting this up on my blog so that it is there for the world to see and to help me overcome my embarrassment at not being perfect. This is something that I am going to have to explain a lot in my life and I might as well start now. I would rather be open and honest and tell everyone then leave it bottled up inside to fester and infect my spirit. The more used to telling people about this I get, the easier it will be in the future.
I am trying to look at this positively- I know that God only puts obstacles in our paths that we can overcome and I thoroughly believe that everything happens for a reason- even if we never find out what that reason was. I am determined to look at this as a growth experience and an opportunity to learn something. I know that this will make me more intent of my studies when they resume and that this may be a blessing in disguise. I just wish that God had decided to make the lesson a little less harsh to learn. I hate feeling stupid and I hate being in limbo land waiting for something to happen.
I know I am smart enough to do this, and that it is still something that I want to do. I will get through it, and hopefully this will turn out to be the opportunity of a lifetime. I am searching for that silver-lining.
Appropriate cliches:
-When you kick down an ant hill, they build it up stronger
-Try, Try, Try again
-You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it
-Thomas Edison had 1000 failures and only one success, but that is why we have the light-bulb
- Failures are pivotal moments that force you to take a different path - a path to a better place
-“Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure…it just means you haven’t succeeded yet,”
-“if you’re not failing, you’re not trying. You learn how the world works when you fail.
-Get back up on that horse after it kicks you off
- If it was easy, everyone would do it
-Light at the end of the tunnel
- Almost any sports analogy
I failed Neuroanatomy and as a result was academically dismissed- and cannot rejoin the class of 2014. It is a two credit course (of course the shortest one of the year) I am not entirely sure how or why I failed it. I have enough excuses- Sean being home, a different kind of studying, weather, medications, death of my dog, traveling, and other random excuses- but the fact is that I failed. I didn't do what was necessary and I slacked off and didn't take it seriously.
So, what does this mean?
I appealed the decision, and as a result I have to retake the class in the spring, pass with >80%, and then I can rejoin the class of 2015 (as long as space is available). This means I have a year off of school, my loans come due, and I have to find something to do until next year. I know that I can do this. I can pass this class, or I literally will die trying, and there is always someone who decides not to continue so I will have a spot. The hard part for me is going to be the finding something that will keep my brain in school mode, somehow pay or delay the loans, and keep myself busy.
I hate failing. It is one of my fears in life- that I will fail. I hate the shame that comes along with it- having to tell my friends and family that I failed, that I am not as smart as I seem, that I didn't live up to my potential kills me on the inside. I think I hate the shame and embarrassment of failing more than the actual failing.
I am mad at myself for allowing this to happen. I am putting this up on my blog so that it is there for the world to see and to help me overcome my embarrassment at not being perfect. This is something that I am going to have to explain a lot in my life and I might as well start now. I would rather be open and honest and tell everyone then leave it bottled up inside to fester and infect my spirit. The more used to telling people about this I get, the easier it will be in the future.
I am trying to look at this positively- I know that God only puts obstacles in our paths that we can overcome and I thoroughly believe that everything happens for a reason- even if we never find out what that reason was. I am determined to look at this as a growth experience and an opportunity to learn something. I know that this will make me more intent of my studies when they resume and that this may be a blessing in disguise. I just wish that God had decided to make the lesson a little less harsh to learn. I hate feeling stupid and I hate being in limbo land waiting for something to happen.
I know I am smart enough to do this, and that it is still something that I want to do. I will get through it, and hopefully this will turn out to be the opportunity of a lifetime. I am searching for that silver-lining.
Appropriate cliches:
-When you kick down an ant hill, they build it up stronger
-Try, Try, Try again
-You made your bed, now you have to sleep in it
-Thomas Edison had 1000 failures and only one success, but that is why we have the light-bulb
- Failures are pivotal moments that force you to take a different path - a path to a better place
-“Failure doesn’t mean you are a failure…it just means you haven’t succeeded yet,”
-“if you’re not failing, you’re not trying. You learn how the world works when you fail.
-Get back up on that horse after it kicks you off
- If it was easy, everyone would do it
-Light at the end of the tunnel
- Almost any sports analogy
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Summer....
Well, first year is finished.
I am pretty much done with my first year of medical school which blows my mind. I can't believe that one year ago, I was getting ready to move out of Colorado and to this crazy place called Iowa to go learn how to take care of feet.
So much has changed and yet stayed the same.
I made some amazing friends this year- it seems strange to think that one year ago I didn't know any of the people who I now am in constant contact. I feel as though I have known them for years, though I suppose if you break down the credits this year it was more like 2 years of school crammed into one. From randomly sitting down at a picnic table because they looked friendly, to early morning coffee, to study sessions, to ski trips, to tests, to Florida, and all the dinners, I would have been a basket case without them. (Not that I am not already a basket case- I would just be a BIGGER basket case)
My handsome husband came home in February. It has been so wonderful to have him home. As I am writing this, he is sleeping in the other room and it seems as though he never left- that last year was just this odd dream and I woke up and found him right where he is supposed to be. I hated having him so far away, but in hindsight, it was the perfect timing as school kept me busy enough that I didn't have time to do anything else.
I started running this year. Me, who was the slowest person on the track team (I only really joined because of a crush and a friend convinced me to try it) actually enjoys running now. I am still ridiculously slow, but I am working on distance now instead of speed. I will never win any races or win any competitions, but I can now earn the $50 race t-shirt and get in shape. I am currently working on a half marathon with the goal to do a full. Where I used to hate running I am finding myself- it is time that I don't have to think, be or do- time where nothing but moving matters. Stress powers my legs in ways unrequited crushes never could. I am currently up to 8 miles- it takes almost 2 hours (yes I realize people walk faster than that) but I enjoy it. I have lost 10 lbs doing it, so I am back to my sophomore year of college weight, but in way better shape than I have been for a long time. (I can run a mile in 9 minutes easily now- my fastest time in high school was 9:30)
School is school. You learn, cram, recite, cram, and then try desperately to remember again. It sticks better if you have heard it once (a big thank you to my AP bio teacher- that stuff STILL comes in handy). I am really enjoying learning all this stuff, though I am ready to get out of the books and actually learn stuff that is useful. They say that it gets better after first year- and to be honest, it wasn't as awful as I imagined it could be. (Don't get me wrong- there were days where I banged my head against the table, drank WAY too much caffeine, and gave serious thought to joining the circus) A big part of why I didn't go batty (er) was that I was with people who took it seriously, but also enjoyed life. The best advice I got was a lecturer who said he was on the bottom of the class "because someone has to hold up the top half" and yet he still got a great residency, had a family, and is successful. The difference between the A and the B isn't worth my sanity or missing out on my friends and family.
A random enough entry- a nice collection of my thoughts this evening. Perhaps I may keep this up this summer, or try to. I feel a need to describe Iowa- but that is best left for another day.
I am pretty much done with my first year of medical school which blows my mind. I can't believe that one year ago, I was getting ready to move out of Colorado and to this crazy place called Iowa to go learn how to take care of feet.
So much has changed and yet stayed the same.
I made some amazing friends this year- it seems strange to think that one year ago I didn't know any of the people who I now am in constant contact. I feel as though I have known them for years, though I suppose if you break down the credits this year it was more like 2 years of school crammed into one. From randomly sitting down at a picnic table because they looked friendly, to early morning coffee, to study sessions, to ski trips, to tests, to Florida, and all the dinners, I would have been a basket case without them. (Not that I am not already a basket case- I would just be a BIGGER basket case)
My handsome husband came home in February. It has been so wonderful to have him home. As I am writing this, he is sleeping in the other room and it seems as though he never left- that last year was just this odd dream and I woke up and found him right where he is supposed to be. I hated having him so far away, but in hindsight, it was the perfect timing as school kept me busy enough that I didn't have time to do anything else.
I started running this year. Me, who was the slowest person on the track team (I only really joined because of a crush and a friend convinced me to try it) actually enjoys running now. I am still ridiculously slow, but I am working on distance now instead of speed. I will never win any races or win any competitions, but I can now earn the $50 race t-shirt and get in shape. I am currently working on a half marathon with the goal to do a full. Where I used to hate running I am finding myself- it is time that I don't have to think, be or do- time where nothing but moving matters. Stress powers my legs in ways unrequited crushes never could. I am currently up to 8 miles- it takes almost 2 hours (yes I realize people walk faster than that) but I enjoy it. I have lost 10 lbs doing it, so I am back to my sophomore year of college weight, but in way better shape than I have been for a long time. (I can run a mile in 9 minutes easily now- my fastest time in high school was 9:30)
School is school. You learn, cram, recite, cram, and then try desperately to remember again. It sticks better if you have heard it once (a big thank you to my AP bio teacher- that stuff STILL comes in handy). I am really enjoying learning all this stuff, though I am ready to get out of the books and actually learn stuff that is useful. They say that it gets better after first year- and to be honest, it wasn't as awful as I imagined it could be. (Don't get me wrong- there were days where I banged my head against the table, drank WAY too much caffeine, and gave serious thought to joining the circus) A big part of why I didn't go batty (er) was that I was with people who took it seriously, but also enjoyed life. The best advice I got was a lecturer who said he was on the bottom of the class "because someone has to hold up the top half" and yet he still got a great residency, had a family, and is successful. The difference between the A and the B isn't worth my sanity or missing out on my friends and family.
A random enough entry- a nice collection of my thoughts this evening. Perhaps I may keep this up this summer, or try to. I feel a need to describe Iowa- but that is best left for another day.
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