Medical School is Hard

Medical school is hard. The material itself hasn't been too terribly challenging (I mean, I understand most of it) what is killing me is the volume. I had a test 2 weeks in on stuff that took us 4 months to get through in undergrad. Each test is the equivalent of a final exam. The details, and the massive amount of memorization are the hardest part.

I have been having some crisis of faith the past couple of days. I realized I will graduate and be done with residency when I am 31 years old. That seems so old to me- I still view myself as the 19 year old kid- and 31 (while still young in the grand scheme of things) is suddenly a lot closer than I thought it was. I want to have kids sometime in the near future, and the timing is difficult to plan with school and residency. I know that this is where I am supposed to be- things fell into place so easily and perfectly for it not to be the right place- I am just afraid that life will be different than what I imagined. I didn't really understand what I was signing up for when I got into this. It is exciting and scary and totally overwhelming. I set out thinking that this would be a great challenge and I am discovering the mountain I picked is a lot taller up close.

I do enjoy it though- I am loving going to school and studying with friends. I have made some really good friends here and I am enjoying it. The stress is pretty constant, but I am learning how to deal with it and I know it is making me stronger. (Though the gray hairs are multiplying). I am motivated by the fact that so many doctors tell me that the first year is the worst and once I get through it, the school part is great. It keeps me motivated when I look forward at the nightmare barrage of tests in October. Oy.

Biochem test 3 on Monday and our first anatomy exam on Friday. At least amino acids just help the TCA cycle (my dreaded nemesis) so they aren't the bane of my existence (just friends with it). The brachial plexus is evil and nerves really should just innervate everything and not specific things. That would make life easier. :D (yeah yeah I know they are important)

Hopefully, I can pull these off- time to stop procrastinating and work on my study guides and flash cards.... If only I could get my notes a news feed on Facebook- then I would learn something every time I checked it.... I would know my notes in no time!